Sex Guide:
What exactly can you get an STD from?

I was once a student of the slogan: If you think you need a dental dam to go down on her, you shouldn't go down on her. Thankfully my brain grew a little bit.

STD stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease. They used to say venereal disease back when society didn't scream the word sex everywhere. When you have sex you expect it to be fun. STD's make things miserable.

Some STD's can be transmitted even using a condom (herpes transmits by skin on skin contact). You can get an STD anywhere body fluids are traded (this includes oral and anal sex).

Some STD pointers:

• If you're swapping any fluids, in or oozing out of your body, then you'll get their germs. Make sure you want them.
• If your partner is carrying an STD, you'll be infected.
• A dry way not to get infected with an STD is to keep your pants on. It's not fun.
• Some of the weaker viruses can be treated or cured, though HIV/AIDs will currently kill you.
• Use a condom.

STD's in America these days:

No pictures added to preserve your lunch.

Human papillomavirus (HPV) - generally causes ugly incurable warts. Condoms don't fully protect you. Girls suffer the most from HPV, guys will sometimes get cancer. HPV can lead to cervical cancer - as in, a chick's coochie will rot and have to be surgically removed (if possible). One of the most popular viruses out there. No cure.

Gonorrhea (the clap) - causes pain when peeing along with drippy pus oozing out of your happy bits, and occasionally fever, vomiting, cramping, various pains, and bleeding between menstrual periods. The cure used to be penicillin but the bacteria got smart and now they throw a hodge podge of medicine into your body hoping something will kill it.

Herpes simplex virus (Herpes) - Transmitted with bodily fluids including kissing. Causes painful visible reddish sores. Herpes is a very prevalent virus. Some treatments to slow down outbreaks, though, no cure.

Tinea (Ringworm/Jock Itch) -causes red itchy rash to appear anywhere on body. Leads to hair loss if it reaches head. Curable in about a week through prescribed lotion. Or you can treat it on the cheap for a few weeks with Apple Cider Vinegar.

Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV/AIDS) - transmitted via sex juices, blood, or breast milk. Ultimately, will kill your ass. Some treatments to extend your life by a few years. No cure. Use a condom or die!

Syphilis - a curable bacteria transmitted through sores on the body. Can be fatal if not treated and will most likely lead to damage of heart, brain, eyes, and bones.

Chlamydia - transmitted through butt sex, straight sex, kinky sex, and oral sex. Leads to burning inside sex organs and some gross liquid coming out of your wahoo. Will do lots of damage to a woman up to and including infertility. Curable if caught early.

Pubic Lice (crabs) - Little bugs crawl around, live, and play in one's pubes. You can name them but they don't care, they're there to suck and eat the blood. Easily transmittable. Curable with special pricey shampoo.

Poison Ivy - Red itchy rash on skin. While not commonly categorized in the STD line-up, if you're making naked nookie in an open field, while it's romantic and primal, make sure you know what Ivy looks like... unless you like curing your ass, balls, and back with searing alcohol. Beware.

More info is available from the web, the U.S. government, and websites inspired by random questions.

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