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You can't be cool without being funny. You have to be at least a little bit funny. Which means that something or someone is going to be the butt of your jokes. Get used to it.
You'll also never learn to be funny if you don't have a coach or a good book. Another requirement is you need lots of practice being humiliated/insulted/laughed at. Yes, you need to be ridiculed. In fact, if you haven't been made fun of very much in your life there's a good chance you'll never really be all that funny.
The basis of jokes tends to be what can (and maybe shouldn't) be exaggerated. Most pro-level jokers are very good at playing innocent, offended, almost nun-like people in very vulgar situations.
Once you can grab a joke by the balls you'll know exactly how much you need to squeeze to incite a bigger laugh. The comedy titans have no fear in ripping the joke's balls off (at the candy moment) and eating them for the crowd if they want to see urine soaked pants.
A lot of comedy needs to be told from a "me" point of view.
Very little humor is "made-up." Jokes stem from the tree of truth.
It's good practice, in the name of variety, to never retell the same joke. At bare minimum, shelve decent comedy and re-perform the bit for another demographic.
You need to pick up a style. You should get a feel for other people's humor. Style is the many way(s) a joke can be delivered. Popular differences come from the amount of detail told, and the level of introspection investigated.
Once you figure out the "theory of comedy" you can be funny anywhere, all the time, and you'll be on your way to cool.
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