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Dealing with an asshole is as simple as implying we're friends but we're not.
Most people theorize that an prick in real life has no soul. The truth is assholes need friends too and acting petty is their form of socializing. A cool person not only needs protection, but has a sharp weapon of choice.
Nothing is as potentially crippling to your day as a malformed comeback. The best bet is to swing firmly (in the name of saving your street cred), yet go wide and miss (making yourself look human, fallible, and maybe a kind of a good sport). Comebacks make friends, they make enemies, but the cool just manage the situation.
Clear lameness comes either from longwinded insults, that don't humiliate, or personal attacks that are cheap in nature. AVOID THIS.
You need big balls or oversized ovaries to pull this off, but once you can play along and tell yourself words don't sting, the over-sized child will have to find someone else to pester. Key strategy: treat the bitch like an un-annoying 3 year old and you're the adult in the relationship.
Don't try to pull this off unless you're a genius. I always try to execute this motion but I've only been successful a handful of times in my life. Key strategy: strike a balance between a fault in their logic against a fault in your personality. Nobody remembers blame when they laugh. Ideal outcome: a cool head will be seen as chic but not a push over.
It is what it sounds like, a reply has a slight bite to it, but not much. Typically, this will escalate and get ugly... though, sometimes it's doable.
Whatever you do, AVOID THIS. Not only may malice get your ass kicked, it'll certainly make you uncool, as you've just sunken to a low, to join your new douche-y sparring friend.
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