Making friends

Friendship can be a tough thing in school. Even if two buddies promise loyalty to each other, nothing will stop one from saying nasty things behind the back of the other.

In the cloudy waters of life I got a tip that friendship "needs a reason to keep going." Read that again if you want a zen nugget of wisdom. It was a good tip but it wasn't enough. While my friendships today aren't easily reduced to 300 words or less, here are some very rough notes I found along the way.

What kind of person are you?

Do you want a friend? - If you like to be alone, you're not giving off a friend vibe.
How patient are you? - Friendship isn't all about you. It's about sharing too.

Types of Relationships

• Normal - evenly paired up.
• Imbalanced - A friendship needs the same type of personalities. Crazies and calm don't blend. Drunk and nerdy don't blend.
• Fake - I want to be like him. Some people just hang out with other to know how to be like them.
• Subordinate - (S)he likes me more than I like him/her. This is the foundation to hazing.
  
  

Reasons for a friend

• Similar interests and desired
• Want company with others
• Interest in others
• Sexual interest
  
  
  

First meetings

• Learn their name early on
• Don't forget their name unless you want to piss them off
  
  
  

Dynamics of a relationship

• Make memories
• Relive memories
  

Friends only talk about the present or the past. If they ever talk about the future, the friendship is usually coming to an end.

How to make friends

• Introduce yourself as funny and forgive their mistakes (if any)
• Get their phone number/IM/email
• Give them a usable tip on how to be a better person
• Offer them something free (mp3s, pizza, beer)
• When you see them a second time, always treat them like a best friend. Soon you'll have a BFF.

Liquor and friends

You can make friends fast with liquor, but the experience of friendship is always short lived, and it's a really expensive way to make buds (in the long-term). Even smart people can get addicted to boozing for friends.

While drinking, not only will the party seem saturated with pleasure, but as a drinker, you'll be accepted, liked, and sharing jokes where that wasn't an option before. I grew out of the crutch of drinking-for-friends-and-fun when I figured out how to transfer "drinking magic" into sober day-to-day social skills. Here's 5 key points to make friends without liquor:

1. Avoid prosecution (don't call someone a douchebag, even if it's blatant)
2. Treat strangers as best friends (and soon you'll be buds)
3. Celebrate the ordinary (you'll be unique, and your pal can talk about something)
4. Practice honesty (and you'll soon be practicing comedy)
5. Laugher is better than critique (seeing humor is a stronger form of smartness.)

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